How I wish I knew beforehand about me, you and them.
Nine months of being fed, carried around and constantly being checked on! If I knew I would have carefully spent the 275 days or the 6,588 hours, holding constructive debates and seminars with me, instead of wasting them in sleep.
But all I could do was turning this way and that way, making myself more comfortable at her expense who selflessly had chosen to accommodate me. My poor mother!
I should have used this time, consulting the inner me, building myself up for what I was to find.
I should have tried and figured out beforehand the three allies that I was bound to meet and live with.
- You &
That my life would revolve around these three, and how I handle them will determine the mark I live behind.
That there would be me and no one but me. I will go through a series of evolution but in the end, I would just be me.
I would meet people and travel places but I will be me.
I will be taken through classes, I will be coached, I will be cautioned and protected and monitored but in the end, it will be me.
I carry the responsibility.
I will have dad and mom, sisters, brothers, teachers, coaches, elders to lead me, boyfriends, a husband, and children but in the end, I alone will have the responsibility of being whatever I want to be.
75% of how someone’s life is, is a contribution from themselves, only 25% is of those around them.
Like how I came into the world; alone, I would go back to dust alone.
Understanding me is the first step; understanding that this is who Rehema is, understanding that this is what she wants, this is what she stands for, that this is actually who she is and she can’t be anyone else. Not even you, nor them.
Because I’m the one to work out all that I meet. No one is going to do it for me.
- My sexuality; my gender – part of me is a girl, a woman. I have to play this role. I have to deal with all that comes with it; Going through the pain that comes with the menstruation cycle. Sorting out the men buzzing around me dying to satisfy their wild thirsts. Preparing and building up my own home and sire my generation.
No one is going to chase the men away for me. No one is going to stand up to that boss who is holding back my promotion, demanding a favor before he does so. No one is going to do it for me, except me.
- My aspirations – everyone has desires. It’s part of who we are. The desire to be great. I’m passionate about different stuff. I have visions to realize, goals to fulfill and dreams to make them come true.
Not my parents nor my siblings can play this part except me. I have to excuse myself from the long chit-chats with my family, or swiping up and down, clicking and liking through the social networks, or walk away from the thrilling long series that is gluing everyone else.
I have to, least my passion for writing lies untamed as ignorance takes the lead because I allowed dust to be the company of books and not me. No one is going to read the books for me. I have to drive and push myself around. If I let it go, then it goes, if I hold on it sticks around.
- My spirituality – again this part is my part to deal with. It’s me connecting with God. A personal relationship with my God. No one can play this part for me.
And then there is you I wish I knew.
You mom, dad, sis, bro, teacher, neighbour, boyfriend, husband, child.
We relate a lot. It was inevitable to meet you. And because that’s true I wish I knew that as much as I like you, admire you, I can never be you. I will live with you, walk and do much with you but we can’t ever exchange our places.
Many are times I hideaway when esteem issues prop up. And I would affirm and re-affirm myself then get back to you.
I will come and ask for advice, cry on your shoulder, lament of how rough life is and you will selflessly talk to me, but at the end you will walk away and leave me to sort it out.
That’s you and me. The opposite of me.
And then there is them. The society; media
These are the people that are more of a third eye. They watch and comment but don’t speak directly to me.
I also wish I was made aware of them. That they will be there to comment and discuss me with their partners but never have a direct conversation with me.
They will discuss my success, my downfall, my stagnation.
They will list expectations and demands and expect me to meet them.
Roles they drew ages ago, norms and values they drafted that were fitting to them but didn’t consider the age that I was to be born which is so much different from theirs.
Yes, I wish I was taken through a class to understand. They are roots for anyone’s success. They are the basis of life. They contribute magnificently to our lives. A better understanding of them will always provide a better pathway to one’s destiny.
The end matters. We live from the end.